Can you ask for what you are not willing to give? Do you ask for happiness and a peace of mind all the time? Is it achievable? It is easy to feel happy when everything around you is good.
What to do when everything goes bad? .
The thing is, even when everything is good, an untrained mind will find a negative thought to focus on, or it will find a way to persuade you of how ‘bad your life is” or “that you are not enough to be where you are and don’t deserve your dreams” or “you are not worthy to be here”. Firstly, I propose to accept life for what it is “a constant ever changing process”. What does it mean? It means, that even if you happy now, you might be sad the next moment, or if everything seems aligned in your life, one thing might throw you of balance. Now, how to deal with it in this case scenario? Secondly, it is important to understand that life is cyclical energy and therefore by definition can never be still or stagnant. You are part of this process, in fact you are the process (Tantra philosophy explored in depth on my half day retreat) and need to constantly work on your positive state of mind. or better way to say, keeping your vibrations high, on removing negative and fearful thoughts, embracing every day as a new beginning and not to let past experiences effect your present Self.
Are you prepared to work daily on changing your thinking patterns and create new neural pathways in your brain? It is possible, but it requires discipline. Are you ready to put your energy into it? Do you really want the change to happen?
The first step is understanding that small changes are what makes the difference. Sometimes we get carried away and want to make a radical change straight away but than we start to procrastinate and resists to start the process because of the fear around an unknown outcome “How will I feel on the other side of this change?” Whereas starting small helps us to take ‘baby steps’ towards a goal. Lets say you want to meditate and you heard that you need 30min a day twice a day, and just a thought of 1 for out of your 24 hrs day dedicate to meditation freaks you out. However, if you start with a three minute contemplation of the breath with eyes closed in the morning to start a day, it seems moire manageable.
The second step towards making a change is to stop focusing on the outcome or destination. Understand that really important fundamental changes in life take time. When you saw a seed you don’t expect it to sprout the next day, do you? Instead, if you water it and nourish with love, it will slowly grow into a beautiful plant or a flower or a tree. You learn to enjoy every step of its growth. There is no one to judge how fast or slow you get where you want to get but you. In fact, when you do get to your final goal, you soon realise that you need to set a new goal to keep moving forward which brings you back to never ending process of life.
The third step is to be patient and kind during the process. Whenever a thought of frustration comes to mind, say mantra “I am willing to change. I am willing to see things differently. I am loving and forgiving”. It does miracles, well at least it does for me. I have a whole list of affirmations and mantras in my head that I call my “tool box” and whenever I feel that an old patterns of thinking start to creep up, I replace those thoughts with my favourite affirmations and the magic begins, energy shifts. You ARE the master of your thoughts. You are NOT your thoughts. You ARE that that thinks your thoughts therefore you have the power to choose what to think. Don’t give your power away.
I often see that majority of my clients live their life like there is a finish line at the end. Life is an ever changing process and so are we. Words goal and results become an obsession. What happened to the words journey and process?
I encourage you to read above once again and ask yourself a question “Am I kind to myself? Do I understand that life is cyclical process and that I can never be on top nor at the bottom at all times?” Just like the seasons or the moon phases, things move, life changes, we change and everything and everyone around us changes. Change is not scary, but you need to have the courage to take the first step, no matter how big or small. I am very excited to share these tools and many more on the upcoming tantra yoga workshops this year and looking forward to meet those who is ready to take the leap. Namaste